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1 year

May 8, 2008

One year ago today, my brother drove to the Golden Gate Bridge and never came back. One year ago, I received a number of phone calls from my mother saying he’d left school, no one knew where he was, he’d jumped, he was at the hospital, she was saying goodbye….

Today my parents are going to the bridge with my aunt and some of his classmates and some neighbors. To the exact post, at the exact time. It seems too much to me, to accept his death in such a way – I’m not ready to see his last living place. Maybe some day I’ll go, but today the plan is to go to the ocean, to see his final resting place.

The emotions are too many too count, but it has gotten easier. There’s sadness and regret that he is gone and will never grow old. But there’s also peace.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. May 8, 2008 4:00 pm


    My thoughts are with you. I know how hard anniversaries of losing loved ones can be.

    Much love,


  2. May 8, 2008 4:10 pm

    Thinking of you today 🙂

  3. May 8, 2008 4:19 pm

    *HUG* I’ll be thinking about you, and your family, today. Take care.

  4. May 8, 2008 6:23 pm

    I wish I had something profound to say, but I don’t, so I’ll just say that you and your family are in my thoughts.

  5. May 8, 2008 7:44 pm

    Hold on to that peace. *hugs*

  6. May 8, 2008 8:14 pm

    My thoughts are with you. Everyone has to grieve in their own way and it’s good that you know your limits.

  7. May 8, 2008 11:18 pm

    hi kate, just wanted to let you know i’m thinking about you today.

  8. Monika permalink
    May 10, 2008 9:18 pm

    Hi Kate,
    We are thinking about you and you are in our prayers.
    Much love,
    Monika, Andrew and Audrey

  9. May 12, 2008 6:04 pm

    Sending good vibes your way.

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